Sunday, December 23, 2007

WOW! We are finally home!

As the holidays began to approach us, it lead up to the time we would go to Tennessee. I never could get "just totally excited" about going. However, we finally left on Friday. I must say much much later than we anticipated~ but as it was we got there.
Anyhow, the day started on Saturday by going into town with my grandmother. (my dads mom) My girls had gone to a children's party with some friends. I love to be with my grandma. We "used" to shop every chance we would get but since her accident she cant seem to get up and go like she used to. Considering I almost lost her I take each moment we have, and make it like it is our last.
Saturday had lots of my emotions and without details I still have alot of emotions to work through on it, FOR SURE!
I also on Saturday spent alot of time with my sister. I loved that. I miss her like crazy and my girls love Aunt Suzanne. She cut all the girls hair and we wrapped gifts together... AND by the way- my girls hair looks cute as a button!!!
Sunday brought on the day we would spend with the ROE side of the family! This is my dads mom, dad, brothers and all of their families. I do love them all. My uncle Randy is so funny. you can't believe nothing he says, because he is always messing. However he is a very Godly man and is always looking out for his family. My uncle Bill is well, I love him more and more each time I see him. He looked great today and his health seems to be doing well. My uncle Dennis- is a mess... He also likes to have fun and is a great guy. I love all my uncles in their own ways, each are very special and dear to me! We could blog for days about their wonderful wives! So we will leave it at that...
Then there is my Ma and Pa! I love them and if I write anymore I will cry.
We are finally home and ready to crash in my bed. I had a great day today and I hope you all have a great holiday!

~~Until then~~~

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

It is only three more days!!!!!

Today in a world that is so materialistic, I have to wonder why we as Christians really celebrate Christmas. The holidays for some are tough, I so understand it. We have made it about gifts, how much money you can spend and we have forgotten to teach the young what Christmas is about. It is about the baby boy who came to give life, by going to the cross HE bought us FREEDOM and love joy and peace.

Ok- so I say that to say this, each day we get closer to leaving for Tennessee the more the devil is attacking me. I recognize it, and yet I fall into the trap. I know I can choose not to get there but I am there before I realize it and hurt all over again. To me Christmas is about the baby boy, but also about family. Well that puts a spin on things because some of my family- well they are mine and that is all I will say. It is true you are hurt by those you "think" love you most.

I take pride (don't know if it is right or not) in the fact my girls are NOT materialistic brats! (smile) This year they have made it very difficult to shop for they say they don't know what they want. Well some say, it's because they have everything- not really. They are just not kids that "WANT". They want to be with their family, they want to be with their friends at church, they want someone to sit and read and play games with. THAT IS WHAT MY GIRLS WANT.
I am thankful as a mother that I can supply their needs by just being in their "space". I am equally glad that slowly but surely their father is seeing that.

What I want today is a harmony among me and my family and friends. God has given us so much. And even when I look upon the negative oh how the positive out weighs the neg. I can see that where I thought the enemy had destroyed me and my family, God has given me family back. It may not be my "blood" family, but it is my spiritual church family and friends outside of the local church.

Dear Lord give me strength today. As I go into the holiday season and I walk into a time that I really don't like, I pray you will give me grace. Give me new memories with my husband and children. Give us as a family, JOY that only comes form you. You are our rock and fortress. You are who we depend on.
As we begin our travels in a few short days, keep us safe. Keep our spirits guarded by you holy spirit. Thank you for everything you have given us, and everything you mean to us. Lord give Brian and I strength to protect our girls and keep them reminded of why we celebrate Christmas. ~~~AMEN~~~

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Christmas Story-

I am so grateful for my father in heaven. I guess with the holidays coming upon us I have to wonder why it is I have never thought about Christmas in the manner it was brought forth today. The preacher preached out of Hebrews and I have to say it was good.
Pastor Ron preached about how yes Jesus came as a baby but He didn't stay a baby. He went to the cross and He died- Then He rose again. Praise the Lord!!!!!!!

Lord I am so thankful you came as that baby, but Lord your dying and resurrection is more AWESOME than any babe!

Today is a new day. God you have set me free by going to the cross. I have been given freedom, love, joy and peace through you. ~~Thank you~~

Merry Christmas Jesus~~~~

Thursday, December 13, 2007

My Authority

Good Morning to ALL!!!
Wow what a rough couple of days. I guess I would have to admit it has been a spiritual battle going on and boy am I glad I finally realized my place in it all.

This morning I woke up in a new world. LITERALLY-
I slept peacefully and I have to say God granted me sweet peaceful sleep... It's been awhile. Lastnight after church I finally took the authority given to me by God and said, SATAN GET OUT OF HERE!!! My mind, my thoughts, my heart belongs to GOD. I am a blood bought child of the most high king. I have to remember just because I am Gods doesn't mean satan will not come up against me, what it does mean is satan has no authority over me or anything to do with me.. I will be equiped with Gods word and holy spirit and satan will flee...
For the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy.... But Jesus came to give us life and life more abundantly.

God in a day that seems full of attacks from the enemy, I will ask you to gaurd my heart, my mind, and my soul... I am your child and you have given me authority to stand against the enemy and all his evil powers.
GOD THANK YOU that you died for me and you cared enough about me to save my soul and bring me out of bondage. You said, come to me all that are heavy burden... I will give you rest.
You also said your sin is as far as the east is from the west buried in the sea of forgetfulness.
Father today- I love you and I am amazed that all you do for ME and all that you have given me. Let me not forget the benefits of calling you DADDY!!!!

Until Next Time~~~

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

DEVIL please leave me alone!!!

Tonight when I saw the pastor on my way home I made a statement that I didn't really think about until I got home and was cooking dinner! Here was the statement. "Today was a day form HELL", I am just here to tell you Pastor. After I got home and was cooking I thought about that. My mind plays tricks on me so I began to wonder wow what did he think of me when I said that. Then I got in defense mode- I thought well if he doesn't like me well forget it. I don't care.
Well, the fact of the matter is I do care or I wouldn't have even been in there where I could have seen him. Secondly, was today really a day from hell or was it that my attitude and thinking is all screwed up? I am not sure how to answer that.
What I do know is a few things- 1st of all- ALL CONFUSION comes from the devil. So where I have made efforts in making my life right with God and others satan is having a hayday, let me tell you.
I am trying to move on but today I am here to tell you I was under his foot. It has left me very depressed and wondering is it worth all of this? I am confused, and bitter. I am upset because I feel betrayed in my mind but my heart says keep going. Somewhere inside of me it says this time is it, keep going- another part of me says forget it, it hurts too much...

Tonight I am trying to pray. It is hard, I am alone, I am scared and I am down.
God please come in and sweep over my soul. Take these feelings away. Help me to know you are there, and help me to except the help you are trying to give me.
God I love you and without you I am nothing, Tonight at this moment I feel like nothing!

Until next time-


Today is Tuesday! I recieved an email that said you haven't blogged where are you? Well the simple truth is it has been a busy couple of days..

Last time I blogged I told you about going to have fun on saturday! It was a blast! The ladies of the church are way too fun.. My mother in law indeed did go and wow, she smiled and laughed- It was too much fun!!!

Sunday was busy as ever- I did however get a nap- THREE HOURS to be exact. Hannah Jane came and woke me up at 5 and said, "mommy it's time to go to church". I was like oh my it is something to be said about your kids waking you up to tell you time to go to church.....

Monday came and went like a long day... Brian and I got little sleep sunday night so it was very tough on monday. Hannah was not feeling well so Brian had to stay home and take her to the doctor.....

Monday however had some GREAT points in it. I had a meeting on monday that had good results.
Brian and I by a blessing from my mother in law had no kiddos for dinner. So we took the chance and we went out to eat with the pastor and his wife. I do believe God is going to do great things. It is very hard to see the end, however I am going to trust that God is faithful... Right now I cant see it all but I am trying to hold on to what I do know.

God today as I write I want, I need you to saturate me with your love. Allow me to see you when I am clouded. I am thankful for my family, my husband and my kids. We arent all we need to be yet but You can transform us. Help me to be open to the fact you are ALL knowing and ALL powerful. Also help me to remember you created me in your image. To be like you is my goal....
Thank you Father

~~Until next time~~

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Happy Saturday!

Good Morning! Oh my word I cant believe I slept until 8:15a.m. Isn't that a treat when you are used to getting up at 4:30- 5:00 a.m.. Ofcourse when I woke up I laid in my bed and listened. Hannah and Mikel Ann were up and at it this am... you know no school and well the kids are up at dawn.... I could hear the way they were playing together and it was music to my ears. I rolled over and put my arms around Maddison, who was in my bed, and just laid there. I love to snuggle with my girl...
Today is filled with lots to do.. The normal chores ofcourse, but there is extra. It is now 12:37 and I have already done a days work. I went to the mabelline store with a friend to get my couple months of hair stuff, got my nails done, went by the gift shop, and then back home and my FIRST- Italian Creme Cake is in the process. Oh MY we will see.
I am so grateful for my wonderful husband who says, yes go do your thing I got the girls! You see he has a special outting for them as well today but they have no idea.
Today as I go and have a little fun, I am so excited..... I am even excited that my mother in law has chosen to go with us. Everyone needs a little fun here and there. And if there is one thing about these crazy nuts I am going to be with- THEY KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN!!!!!!

God give me a great time and let me not forget you. Let the devotions that are read be something right for me from you. God I love you today. Be with us all as we go about our busy days- Help us to keep focused on you, for you truly are the reason for the season!!!

until then....

Friday, December 7, 2007


Well it is FRIDAY again, which means another week has passed. So did you survive the first week of DECEMBER!!!!?????

I have to say it has been a good week. In the beginning satan attacked but GOD showed up and showed himself faithful.
As I go into another weekend I have to say, GOD you did "Do It Again"........
you brought me through when I wasn't certain I would get through. I love the way you love me Jesus!!!

So on another note.... I have this sweet dear child of mine!!! Lord I have to wonder if I will survive her. She is 9 going on 20 sometimes and then others she is 9 going on 2..... One moment she is big and wants to help with the youth pastor at church, and one minute she is a baby and needs my undivided attention...

I have to wonder if I am doing right by her. She is so smart and she is so sweet and then she is soooo well not so sweet.....:-(

Anyway off to weekend chores and outings... you know laundry dishes and more laundry at my house. then you have all day affair at church on sundays and you also have the extra stuff... You know the ladies progressive dinner... Will I go I dont know- I am learning to just hang with the girls and enjoy being at home...

Untill next time

Thursday, December 6, 2007

OKAY- Peggy said I BELIEVE IT--- God is FAITHFUL!!

Today started as the last, only for another day for God to show HIMSELF faithful.
So Do I sing or do I dance, I really am not sure.. For the song in my heart is not one you would just dance to.

I guess in all that I "could" type here is what I will say. Lord thank you for the times you are so faithful. Thank you for the time that you show yourself real. Thank you for when I trust you and I go and do as I should you show me favor.

I continue to stand in amazement of how much you love me God. Your grace and abundant love are far more greater than I could have ever dreamed.

Father in the days ahead continue to show your self to me and through me. As I strieve to stay in your will may my life show you in a way that noone can doubt your work in me..

Untill then

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Did you say- gym- 5 am

Today I started back to gym- Lovely at 5 am....
Anyhow by 8:30 I was charged just as they said I would be. It was cold getting out but some friends and I said yeah we will be there at 5 am...
I walked on the treadmill no big deal I do that at home, HOWEVER the machines are a different story! I started out at one weight but by the last machine we had to bump it on down... I am a wimp I guess. Here is what I am thinking.... Skinny by the summer and lots of energy will come if I will stick to it..
I enjoyed hanging out with my friends this morning too. It was a great way to start out the day. I enjoy the energy I seem to have and well maybe just maybe it will do some good for me!!!!

Untill next time have a good day!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Terrific Tuesday!!!!

Okay so I have a friend that says speak it into existing and you shall have it. So today is a terrific tuesday... there you go!!!
Actually today has been great.. All the kids are down for a nap and it is almost time to go see my little bright beautiful rays of sunshine. So okay I joined the gym back sometime ago... I havent been that faithful at going and being a part, right...??? Well my firend now is back working in the mornings and well, I guess what I am trying to say is I am going back tot he gym... Yeah yeah I walk at home but it isnt the same, i am convienced...

So in the morning starting bright and early I can be found at the gym... Hallelujah !!!! you know I am convienced that by getting up early God honors our at least trying. I also am determined to still get in my daily talk with Jesus and my reading his word. I have learned tha tGod is kinda stingy... he doesnt want a part of me but ALL of me...Even when I am sad and even when I down He loves me and is always there for me...
So anyhow--- That is that...

Untill next time!

Monday, December 3, 2007

Hold Me

Today has been a very long day. Actually yesterday never ended so it has been like two days in one. Ever had one of those.. Anyhow I am wondering today and boy how my mind can wonder so far out of control.
Today I backed away from those who love me in fear that I might hurt them. I have to wonder where is God today. I need some answers and I am not getting them. I know without a doubt God is faithful... I know He is an on time God. SO I guess today I am going to have to begin asking God to give me grace and mercy. When I am uncertain- wait... When I dont know where to turn, be still and when I dont know what to say be quiet.
Lord thank you for my friends and thank you for my family..... Lord when I dont see you please hold me. Hold me still and hold me untill the storm passes. father teach me to hold on to you, for you are all I need!!!!!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Good Night!!!!

Okay so it is sunday night after 10 pm.... I have to wonder where did the weekend go? I am thinking the weekend goes so much faster than the week, maybe it is cause there are only 2 days with no work , and 5 days with work....

Anyhow- as the weekend closes I say Thank you Father for your unconditional love. You are the air I breath and the song that I sing... I love you so much. Today I am faced with a decesion that effects so many I love. God you know how to show up and let me know each step I should take. I have a question of when and how you will give your answer but I will wait on you, I will wait for you to say here child walk this way.

Lord be with me and my family as we go into another week. Lead and guide us each step. Father touch my children. Help them to understand each situation as we come upon them. They are so sweet and innocent and Lord I want to protect them and Lord I NEED YOUR HELP to do so. I give the girls to you, touch thier mind, hearts, and spirits... Father I love you, thank you for loving me.................

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Accomplished in deed!!!!

Saturday came and it started early. I got up for the last time at 6:30am... I started in for I knew my house was in need of my attention. I was a week late on Christmas decorations and the girls were letting me know it again today starting at 7:30 am...
To say it quickly I accomplished it all, from cleaning out the frig, decorating the house and AND I am almost completely finished with the laundry... The girls have clean sheets and thier rooms are nice and neat. The bathrooms cleaned and the floors vaccumed and swept and mopped where needed.
Now we are enjoying the game and getting ready to shower and do supper. for tomorrow holds a whole nother day full with things to do.

As I go to bed tonight I can feel totally accomplished and ready for another week..
YEAH RAH YEAH FOR ME!!!!! Although I am totally exhausted! Sleeping should be no problem at all tonight!!! :-)

Friday, November 30, 2007

Bring it on DECEMBER!

Today is finally almost over.. Hallelujah!!!! As the day comes to an end it brings with it another week under our belt... Woo Hoo-
Tomorrow starts the busiest month of the year for me and my family- the new challenge is that this year I am working 50 plus hours a week. So what can I say that would challenge us all to keep going. To remember what the reason for the season "really" is.
So for the Taylor family every weekend is full. With church and ladies functions, work parties, kids fieldtrips and family get togethers.
I have to continue to tell myself slow down life is going way to fast. Well that is all so true but how do we stop it.
What I would have to say is Lord help us to remember who YOU are in this month. I have tried so hard to make this time of the year that we dont think it is just about presents, it is about our savior. He came in to this world to bring peace and good will.
~~~Lord I love you. I thank you for my husband, my kids, my extended family on both sides. I thank you for my friends and those who care about us and love me and my family.
Lord help to be the wife, mother, and Godly woman you have called me to be.

So to sum it up- here comes the busiest month- but I am ready... Keeping Christ right in the middle of the season because God you are Awesome....
So for now I will say- Bring it on DECEMBER! I am ready for you and I am ready to see what God has in store for us.

Untill next time-
Be blessed!!!!!!!!

Monday, November 26, 2007

Beauty For Ashes

Today as I finished working I had to wonder Lord what are you doing? In the last few days the Lord has certianly stretched my faith more than I could have ever dreamed. I have become depended on friends I didnt know I had and I have found new friends in an unexpected way. God how AWESOME you are...

Today I made a decesion that niether of my dear friends liked. I had to hear it from my best friend of how selfish it was just to give up, absolutely she made me mad, but even though it hurt- It was true.... Was I being selfish or was it just that I was so confused that I had no idea where to turn and how to make a decesion.
God I love you. From the moment I drew my first breath you have had your hand in my life. From "Beauty to Ashes" you brought my life. Where satan meant for the ashes God without fail you have turned it into BEAUTY... Beauty is what you see when you look at my life.

Lord help me remember you NEVER put on me more than I can handle. You don't ask me to go the extra mile alone, You are always there and YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE ME! God when I don't "feel" you please open my eyes to see you are there.
~~~Thank you Father- I promise to walk with you, I promise to keep going, I promise to get in your word and find my place in your calling....... God I absolutely know that you are there today. Thank you for my friends and "new church family".
Untill you call I will serve you and keep going!!!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

~~Rainy Cold Days~~

Good Afternoon~~~
Today is a cold wet wintery kinda day. For those of you who know me, know that I don't like the rain. I would like to curl up in the bed until the day is done. The cold only adds to me wanting to stay tight nestled in my house for the days dont do "old Aurther" much good. Even at 30 my hands and knees are already beginning to feel the genetic arthiritis touch!!!! But this morning as I thought of staying in bed , there was plenty of reason to crawl out.
You see today is the Lords day~ And He promises us, He will meet us right where we are when we reach up to Him. I am a firm believer in reaching for help and God is always there. He has NEVER failed me yet, HE continues to "Do IT AGAIN".
Today as we sat in church the preacher preached just about that. I visited with a friend today at church, it was a God lead visit I assure you of that. I had never heard her preacher preach, or did I know alot about him. (only that he was a cowboy at heart) But in the last couple of weeks I have come to respect his wife as the Godly woman she is.
Today the sermon for me was Praise Him Anyways.. Check your attitude and praise Him. When you say you are a born again believer and you surrender yourself to Him then do it 100% and reach up to Him.
So when you dont feel like it, praise Him anyways, When satan comes against you Praise Him anyhow- satan will leave, When life throws you a curve ball that you just aren't sure how to handle it- Praise Him Anyhow. 2 Chronicles 20- verse ? Says Praise Him For His love endureth FOREVER.

God teach me to praise you when the days arent all I would like them to be. Lord you are all knowing and you see the end when I don't. Lord not only do you see it but you hold it in your hand, and to my knowledge you can change "my" world in an instant, if tha tis what you choose to do.
God help to remember what I am called to do according to your purpose. I am a Godly wife, a mother called to teach and love her children, I am friend to those in need and I am a testimony that your love endures forever. Place me on the rock where my faith will not waiver. Place me firm in your word and with your strength I can and I will overcome anything that satan may throw my way. Father guard my heart, my mouth, my mind and spirit that only peace, love and joy comes from me. Thank you Lord for today, A day that I can come into your house and praise you right in the middle of what I think is a storm that may end it all. I praise you my father for you created the heavens and earth. I will praise you for there will be NO ROCK crying out in my place. ~~AMEN~~

Untill next time Praise the Lord!!!!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Happy Turkey Day! I hope you all have had a wonderful day! I pray you have taken the time to find something you are totally GRATEFUL for. Today has been a day of just taking the time to say how much you are greatful for those you love, the blessings God has given you, and the time here on earth God has given you to live for him.

God has truly given us all something to be thankful for. I am so thankful for my kiddos, my family, and my extended family here in Arkansas.
My friends are wonderful, and the new Christian friends God is giving me each day is so much more than I could have ever asked for.

Lord thank you so much for everything and everyone you have given me.
Help to remember all the blessings and that everything comes from you.
I love you Lord and only want to serve you and do what you would have me to do for you.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Terrific Tuesday!!!!

Good Morning and welcome to Tuesday!
Today is a good day for we only have one more day in our week. Okay I used to think wow- the kids will be home for five days, they will be so bored. This time I am so excited; yeah we will ALL be home for FIVE DAYS! I am looking forward to cooking for Thursday and then coming home and decorating for Christmas. I can't believe that it is only 34 days until then. Crazy huh!
So today what I would encourage you to do as well as what I have done is to find something you are grateful for. Life is full of what ifs, and can I, and do they like me, you know- you get the point.
God has given each of us so much. I am so thankful for my husband, my kids, my extended family and well all of the things He has given. I have a new found love these days, and it is finding my quiet time and telling God just how much I do love him. I encourage you to do the same today. Make it a must today to get alone with God,amd tell Him how much you love Him today.
You will be amazed at how He meets us in our quiet time and He awaits to hear from His children each morning.
Be blessed and until then keep on thinking.......

Friday, November 16, 2007

My Lunch Dates!!!!!

I hope you all had a Wonderful Friday!
I met my deadlines, and I had a wonderful lunch date! Take a look!
Love and Hugs untill next time!!!!


Good Morning! It has been a couple overwhelming days and seeing that I am up to my ears in paperwork and deadlines, Here is what I will blog about today. (only for a minute for I have DEADLINES you see)

Okay so the daycare work is going great, I can't complain because just what I wanted is happening! HOWEVER- it came all at once and paperwork came with it. Each child has oh so many forms and then forms you have to type in on the computer, send into the state department. Working with the Department of Human Services, can be a little um testy is a good word... So I have until 5p.m. today to get it all in and submitted OR I don't get paid by them until next month. AND we all know businesses need their revenue. OKAY so I say all that above to say this- WHO CREATED DEADLINES? WHY DO WE NEED THEM? AND WHO REALLY STICKS TO THEM?
I have thought alot about deadlines and I guess we do need them. They help keep us on track in a job, the send us to bed when our bodies need rest and well life in this world would be NUTS without deadlines. As to who created them, I haven't got a clue... Who sticks to them- well I have to believe that those who do their work right and stay on task and stay on time- GET THE BEST REWARDS!!! (if you know it to be different, don't tell me until after 5

So, this morning when that alarm went off at 5:00a.m. I had to wonder would it truly benefit me to get up and get on that treadmill? I had to wonder would it truly benefit me to get up and have everything ready for the girls before waking them up so their morning wouldn't be chaotic? Well here is the answer YES, ABSOLUTELY WITHOUT A DOUBT!!!!

Sometimes in life we aren't real sure why we must do it the way we hav eto but we JUST DO IT! Deadlines are good for us, even when we don't like them....

Okay back to my paper work- Untill I return keep thinking--

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Grandaddy and Maw Maw

There has been alot of talk about living and dying, and old people lately which has turned my heart back to two very dear old people in my life that have gone on to be with our Lord. So today I wanted to take a minute and share with you a few little memories I have about dear sweet Granddaddy and Maw Maw. When Brian and I married all I heard about was Maw Maws cooking and her quilt making. She was a babysitter by trade and a wonderful mawmaw. Everyone called her maw maw, even those who weren't family. Granddaddy was a carpenter by trade and from what I know could build anything. There were cabinets in our house he had built and ones in Jack and Barbs house as well. But you see by the time we married Granddaddy was already well in his elder years. As the years went on Barbara cared for them like noone else could have and I became her support. Granddaddy believed I could get that doctor on the phone like noone could. I remember the day we called ole' doctor Harrington, and he called right back.... That day granddaddy thought I hung the moon..... The night Granddaddy went home, we had been there and would have been no other place.
After loosing granddaddy just 2 years and 2 days later we lost Maw Maw to what I believe was a broken heart, but we were there. I will cherish the the times we spent and the time my girls got to spend with her. The times my little Hannah stood by her bed and patted her hand, and said, it's okay Maw Maw as if she was holding a little babies hand. Mikel Ann loved to go and see MawMaw even if it was to go in her room when she was in her bed to give her a sip of water. Maddison remembers when she was well and was in her garden. Maddison being the oldest remembers being in the garden with both Maw Maw and Granddaddy just two years before Grandaddy passing. The last year of Maw Maws life I got to spend sometimes with her that, uhmmm may not have been so "great" but they were memories that I will always cherish and never forget.
I will hold to the fact that I got to hold her hand when we went to the doctor and she was scared, I got to hold her hand and assure her it would be okay when a new nurse came in to see her for the day, And that God allowed my husband, myself, and our girls time with a Godly MAW MAW as He ushered her into eternity. Oh Lord Let me have the strength, wisdom, courage as Maw Maw had as a mother, wife and a Godly woman. Let me leave the legacy for my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and so on as she has. Lord let me see that life is what we make it. For it wasn't easy back in the day but with you God everything is possible. Lord our life is not ours, it is yours- You lend it to us to do your work. Let me do your work here on earth until you call me home. ~~~AMEN~~~

Monday, November 12, 2007

Just Me!

Well today was a Monday! I can't say it was a bad monday it was good, it was just a busy monday....
I can't at all imagine what it was like for that mother to wake up this morning and realize she had to lay her baby to rest. I can't imgine what it was like to wake up and realize that my husband of 51 years may not be here tomorrow. I can't imagine what it will be like to stand in a room and sing that song, "Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone I've Been Set Free"...
You see these are all things that someone I know is dealing with. Life can be so difficult for us and then we realize oh wow, my pain is nothing compared too,.....
~Today one of my biggest trials was having peace about loveing someone so much and not wanting to let go. Not that the letting go would come today, tomorrow, or even the next but just preparing myself, and the life here after, where would that person spend his/her life?
Peace~ what is His peace from within? Peace from the inner most secret place of the innersoul. A peace that only God can give and NO ONE can take away from you. THAT is what I need for this situation.
I remember as a child there was a time in life where life was so simple. We didn't make such issues out of life, we took it at face value and we went on. As a child we trusted what daddy said and it was enough.
So I have to ponder this~~~ WHY is it if I could trust my earthly father, why is it I can't trust my heavenly father? Why is it I can't just take him at His word and move on. Lord your word is alive, Your word is truth. As I cry out, confess to you, and send consent; send your ever consuming word to my life. Saturate it to the very core of my being. Consume my life with your word and help me to eat, drink, live and breathe your word. When the time comes to be still, and listen; calm my soul, and my spirit and let me listen to you.... Allow me to be still and know that you God....

God, I love you. I saw a work tonight that only you could have done. It reminded me of all the things you have done in the past and everything you want to do in the future. You never quit working on me and through me.
I love you Lord. Keep me grounded in YOU and my eyes fixed on YOU and the prize fixed ahead. ~~~AMEN~~~

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Rocky Top Will Always Be Home Sweet Home!

Alicia Kerri & Becca!!!
So today was a major upset for the Razorbacks! However I cheered my Tennessee Vols to victory. For you see one time a year it is a show down in the Taylor house hold. Arkansas vs. Tennessee. It is the only game of the year I don't cheer for Arkansas, which in turn means our house is totally divided! For those of you who have seen my license plate on my truck it comes as no surprise to you that I am a VOLS fan and Brian is an ARKANSAS fan.

However here is what I am thinking- Aren't we so lucky that God doesn't choose us over another or leave us for one day of the year. I mean He doesn't even leave us for one second of any day of the year. HE is so AWESOME! We don't have to score points, or run touch downs or even catch the ball for Him to show up for us. He is there and all He ask is that we love Him and Serve Him.. I just think that is incredible!

God help me to see you when I am clouded. Lord remind me that all you ask is that I live for you!!! AMEN

Way To Go Brian!!!!

Brian works hard everyday! He wears a few hats at work. You know work hard, under paid, under appreciated. Well lastnight my dear love let me know we had room to celebrate! Brian got a raise!!!!

Way to go Brian! I wont let you forget about that night out!

I love you! You are the best even when I don't tell you enough! You are loved, appreciated and you have the most adorable girls and hey- your wife aint so bad looking either!!!!



Happy Saturday Morning!!!
Well as I predicted it was an early night lastnight! YEAH! But not before some SWEET family time! My girls are the sweetest. Mikel Ann still not feeling well turned in at 6:45 without dinner. I worried about her but I suppose she needed rest before eating right? We turned the movie on at 7:30 and had popcorn and enjoyed the movie. Without details the movie daddy had gotten was "just what the girls" had ordered. DADDY ROCKS!

So let me give you my God moment that came late yesterday afternoon to top off a "not" so wonderful week. But then again, it left room for God to show himself so real! At the daycare I got calls yesterday to enroll 6 new kids. They all are coming in Monday. 4 of those kids are military so I believe that will be GREAT!!. One of the little 16 month old boys is deaf. Now, some would say no way, I looked at it differently. YES a challenge but what a ministry,(TO A FAMILY WHO JUST ARRIVED MONDAY FROM GERMANY) but also what a rewarding time to be able to help this child learn his own language. Mom said he is just starting to learn to sign, they use flash cards, etc. etc etc. So we are going to try it. I sign some, but I have never had to sign with a toddler, so I am honored and excited. And wow if I could do this in my daycare that would be a great star beside our name. (And it does help tremendously that my mother in law taught special ed school for 28 years.)

Well it is saturday morning and each mommy knows what that means. A little extra special breakfast, ALOT of laundry and ALOT of house cleaning.
So Happy Saturday!

Lord, Thank you for another day to get out of bed and serve you. For by serving my family I am serving you! You gave them to me and said the wife should take care of them. I set the tone for our home and Lord help me today to set a sweet tone. Even in FOLDING the laundry! AMEN

Friday, November 9, 2007







Thursday, November 8, 2007

~~~God IS~~~

~~~I came across this on a friends my space. Found it interesting. Thought I would share.
God is like a Television commercials
A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look atTVcommercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God. Here are some of the results: scroll down.
God is like.BAYER ASPIRIN-He works miracles.
God is likea FORD-He's got a better idea.
God is like COKE-He's the real thing.(This is great)
God is like HALLMARK CARDS-He cares enough to send His very best.
God is like TIDE-He gets the stains out that others leave behind.
God is like GENERAL ELECTRIC-He brings good things to life.
God is like SEARS-He has everything.
God is like ALKA-SELTZER-Try Him, you'll like Him
God is like SCOTCH TAPE-You can't see Him, but you know He's there.
God is like DELTA-He's ready when you are.
God is like ALLSTATE-You're in good hands with Him.
God is like VO-5 Hair Spray-He holds through all kinds of weather.
God is like DIAL SOAP-Aren't you glad you have Him? Don't you wish everybody did?
God is like.the U.S. POST OFFICENeither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination.
God is like Chevrolet. . .the heart beat of America;
God is like Maxwell house. .Good to the very last drop
God is like B o u nt y . . . .He is the quicker picker upper. .can handle the tough jobs. . and He won't fall apart on you!!!

Is this week over yet????

Okay- So here is my poor pitiful me blog.... Is this week over yet. I have to say this has been a horrible week! I have begged God to show up, and He has, and for that I am thankful. But this week has been a tough one.
From my hip, my grandpa, my kiddo being a little under the weather and then we had an eight month old child to die in a daycare here in town. (not mine)Which as a child care provider, I am involved! I had my meetings on Tuesday and well TONIGHT I felt like grabbing a bottle of Jack and settling in for the night. BUT you guessed it God is bigger than Jack and Greater than any other mess I have going on in my life, right..... So I came home from work started my nightly chores, homework, dinner, baths, and laundry!!! Does anyone else ever wish we lived where everyone else went nude and we were all BLIND???? I sure do! I hate laundry.....

Lord, Thank you for breath. Thank you for my children. They do drive me a little insane sometimes but they are healthy and breathing... Thank you. Help me to not take life so seriously and when it has to be serious, well help me to lean on you. Lord I love you and thank you for another week, but Lord I am so glad it is almost over!!!
Lord I pray for that mother that has lost her baby this week.

Help me to remember that you are there Lord Always, I love you. Hold me tonight as I feel a little bit alone, a little down and out and alot over whelmed.
Untill next time~ Be Blessed

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Crying Out, for you Lord!

Okay Lord I am here again. In a place of crying out to you. I am learning that it doesn't always mean like real tears, it means my heart is crying for YOU!
As the day progressed Pa seemed to need your touch a little more. My spirit is crying for your peace and I seem to not find it. Lord help me to receive your peace tonight! Lord I feel alone. I know you are there and I know that just because I am here doesn't mean You can't touch Pa David. But God, we need you. They are giving him blood at this very moment, and he is hurting, my grandmother is being strong and LORD to be honest- I am a little uneasy.

God, help me to reach for your hand in the territory of the unknown; for with you there is no unknown. God, help me to except what is there and walk with you and tackle whatever comes with YOU as my shield. God, help me to realize that life is not forever on this earth- but with YOU our ETERNAL life is forever.

Lord I Am Trusting!

Today is a day I am having to sit and TRUST You completely! Yesterday that call came that I have dreaded for longer than I can remember. My grandfather is in the hospital with discourageing words from the dr,so we wait! Could it be your way of making him better and we are just selfish and don't see it that way. Is it your way of asking me to TRUST you one more time with someone I love so deeply. Lord I do, I put him in your hands.

Lord today I come needy~ I come to you and ask you to settle my spirit. Give me your peace. Help to accept that you have our family in your hands. You see the beginning,You see the end, and You see everything in the middle. ~~AMEN~~

Monday, November 5, 2007


TODAY~is my birthday! Happy Birthday!
Interesting how you think that a day can make or break you. I did!
Today I turned 30! yeppers I am OLD! I sure hope the next 30 years are easier than the last. I say that to say this.
Those of you who know me know that I have said I HATE birthdays. It has nothing to do with getting older or not enough presents or whatever- it is all about the fact my daddy isn't here and my birthdays have been pretty meaningless in the last few years, the last 14 to be exact. But as I physc myself up to turn the big 30 I also have been allowing my God to do some AWESOME stuff in my life. That inturned has allowed today to be the best birthday I have had in 14 years! YEAH GOD!!! YOU ROCK!

It is amazing to me how the Lord just keeps on showing me how Awesome HE really is! In the last two weeks God has given me HIS favor and showed me HIS grace and granted me peace in my family like NEVER before!
Lord thank you for my birthday and thank you for another day to serve you. Also Lord, thank you for my daddy and all of the wonderful birthday memories I have with him. Help me to cheerish them and not hold tight to them as if they will slip away. The gift of memory you will not take away.
Bless us this day as it comes to an end. You knew the beginning, You knew the middle, You know the end, help me to except what I cannot change and change the things I can.
Lord help me to become the Godly woman You have called me to be- The trustworthy and honest friend and witness You would have me to be for you.

Thank you~

Sunday, November 4, 2007

We are home!

We are home! But boy do we have stories to tell. We had a great visit in Tennessee. I am always excited to go but this time was filled with memories and visits with family as well as friends. As we arrived it was "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" lunch with the grandparents. I so love my grandparents. These are my dads parents so I am EXTRA close to them. There is a place in my heart especially for them. My grandpa was sick so Brian had the honors of grilling. He didn't mind at all. I had the honor of calling and getting medicine for my grandpa and then going and picking it up- let's face it I loved it because I felt like I was helping take care of him. He is a hard one to care for so anything I can do- I am there. After lunch and after we played we loaded up and Brian and the girls dropped me at our beauty shop lady- Mrs. Debbie- She is a doll. She is more than a hair dresser to us she is a dear friend. (more than anyone will ever know) I hadn't talked to her in about 10 months so I was thrilled she had a spot so I could see her and to see what she would do with the bushes above my eyebrows.
Off to see my aunt at work and the ladies there. Funny how they all have known me forever and now they see my babies and my hubby... Life just keeps getting better. One more stop before heading to aunt Cindys and we stopped at Mueller. (This is where my grandma worked for 25 years) Two dear ladies Pat and Diane still work there. They started there one year before I was born. ( remember I will be 30 TOMORROW) I love these ladies so Brian let me run in and see them. Ofcourse they came out to see Brian and the girls and told Brian how lucky HE was to have me. ( Well that was my interpretation of the conversation) SMILEING!
Friday Nightmy aunt had a diner out of this world and my other grand mother came and my aunt and her daughter. My Uncle Ronald and Aunt Cindy are always so wonderful.
Saturday was just as full- There was SKYDIVING, Lunch with my Step mom for my b-day and then I went to a surprise party for a great aunt. I got to see so many old church friends and family memebers- It was GREAT.

After a couple hours of dealing with my grandfather on going to the hospital or not/ and trying to decide do we go home or do we stay we came home. Knowing that at anytime we could get a call and have to go back- But God you knwo that. You gave us a GREAT visit! We all FIVE were there and surely you knew that would all work out!
Thank you God for my family time with the extended family. And thank you for MY FIVE AND NO MORE!


Okay! So I did it! I not only did it but I have the video, pictures and the t-shirt to prove it. It was amazing! I have to tell you for a week before hand I was pumped, and I was even pumped UNTIL we were in the air and ready to JUMP. I was like NOPE- can't do it. The instructor said, "you can not go down in this plane"!
So one, two, three and he grabbed my head back and out he pushed me!
It was AWESOME! The sky was soooo blue, the ground was so far away and the world was beautiful.

God surely knew what He was doing when HE created this place I will assure you of that. I could see fields and grass and trees and clouds it was beautiful. As we approached the ground I could see my babies waiving and waiving and I kicked my feet just for them!
Sky diving is something I will surely do again if given the chance!!!!!

Talk later

Friday, November 2, 2007

The Real Me!

V:1Foolish heart looks like we're here again Same old game of plastic smile Don't let anybody in Hiding my heartache, will this glass house break How much will they take before i'm empty Do i let it show, does anybody know?

CHORUS:But you see the real me Hiding in my skin, broken from within Unveil me completely I'm loosening my grasp There's no need to mask my frailty Cause you see the real me

V2Painted on, life is behind a mask Self-inflicted circus clown I'm tired of the song and dance Living a charade, always on parade What a mess i've made of my existence But you love me even now And still i see somehow
But you see the real me Hiding in my skin, broken from within Unveil me completely I'm loosening my grasp There's no need to mask my frailty Cause you see the real me
Wonderful, beautiful is what you see When you look at me You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into A perfect tapestry I just wanna be me But you see the real me Hiding in my skin, broken from within Unveil me completely I'm loosening my grasp There's no need to mask my frailty Cause you see the real me And you love me just as i am Wonderful, beautiful is what you see When you look at me

We are here!

We are finally here (Tennessee with my family) and I am so excited. We arrived and we have spent the day with family and friends and we have all totally enjoyed the day! Friends and family that I haven't seen in months and family that I may not see for months to come. Brian hadn't seen some of my family since the holidays last year so it has been exciting for sure.
Tomorrow we go SKYDIVING! And I am so excited. I can't wait to see the beauty that God created from another view. Lord thank you for my family. Thank you for the oppurtunity to come and visit on my special weekend.

30 is coming- Hope it is a good one for me!!!


Thursday, November 1, 2007

The Finer Things

Okay- I am convienced sometimes we just need to be kicked a little bit to except the finer things in life we sometimes forget about. You know like our husbands, our kids, and how important the small simple times with them can be.
Lastnight as the world celebrated Halloween we went to church to have our fall festival. My girls have never really dressed up maybe a princess here and there but they have always enjoyed going to church and hanging out. Well on the way to church one of the girls (who I will not name) said Mom you know what I love about tonight. I said what? She said that we are all going to church together. She said you always go but daddy is meeting us there, he told me this morning on our way to school, and she continued to say it is the fun times I remember the most with Daddy, us girls, and you mommy.

Okay so that absolutley did something to me. As we walked around, ate, played games, sang and watched all of the kids play, grab bags and bags of candy, ( that as a parent we really didn't want them to have) I thought- THIS is what it is all about. My husband, my kids, hanging together- wow we were at church surrounded around people who just like us- have lives, have issues and strive everyday to make it.
God how awesome you are. Thank you for planting us in a place to grow in You, with people who like us are striving to be like You.
Help me to remember that life can be simple- It doesn't always have to be hard and sometimes we make it so much harder than it has to be. Lord remind me to chill- take it day by day and when needed minute by minute. Help me to not borrow trouble from tomorrow for as a friend once said tomorrow will bring its own trouble.
Thank you for my little family, help to love them and take in every moment and not take it at all for granted not one moment!
Lord as we travel tonight, keep us in your hands and under your blood- safe in your arms is where we want to be. AMEN~

Tuesday, October 30, 2007


In life I have decided you don't find alot of people you call friends. I have found very few in my "almost" 30 years of life. In my recent days God has favored me to have more than I would have dreamed.
Friends that don't expect alot out of you, but stand beside you even when you screw up- Friends who say you are forgiven keep going the end isn't here yet-
Friends who say you are forgivin we keep moving.

Thank you God for friends that I never even dreamed would be the friends that would be the ones that would say keep going. Thank you for a pastor, a pastors wife, Chell, Sharon, Steph and a husband that stand by me, even when I screw up, fall face first, and wait for you to pick me up and we go again.

Lord help me to give grace where grace is needed and help me to be a friend when a friend is needed. Help me to remember that YOU are the ultimate friend but sometimes you do send us to be your arms, hands, and feet.


It has been brought to my attention that our minds tend to have a way to play tricks on us sometimes. Well I would have to ask how do we sort through the rubble and come to terms with the truth? How do we know when we have truly believed something for so long.
Repetitious TRUTH! The scripture says the truth will set you free. We all know that but what does it look like, what does it feel like, and where does it put me. Who does that make me? The key note is- To always remember who I am in Christ! If we are right with HIM, the world as we know it DOES go on and HE makes all things right with the upholding of HIS righteous right hand.

Lord help to become totally dependant on YOUR truth. No one else, but you. In my life there are stacks of rubble, Lord in your timing and in your place and with the right help, help me to sort through the rubble and turn to you for the truth. Help me sort it and take the sweet stuff- and leave the rubble. Help me remember WHO you are, WHAT you can do and WHO I AM IN YOU!

Monday, October 29, 2007


Words- We hold life and death in our tongue. Sometimes we don't realize how much our words can hurt. A simple I am busy when said with the wrong attitude and mood can destroy someones day.

Lord help me to remember to build up and not destroy with my words. Father keep my tongue ever before you so that everything that comes off of it is uplifting and praise worthy.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

This is the Day that the Lord has Made!

This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

As I started this morning Lord I wasn't so sure. I pressed on and sang this song, This is the day the lord has made, I will REJOICE and be Glad. Time pressed on and I was a little overwhelmed with what ifs and should I's and Lord I can't. YOU continued to speak in your small still voice YES YOU CAN, my daughter.

As we got in the car, later for church than ever, the music came on and the girls began to sing.

v.1It's hard to stand on shifting sand It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night You can't be free if you don't reach for help You cant love if you dont love yourself There is hope when my faith runs out Cause I'm in better hands now
chorus- It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground So take this heart of mine there's no doubt I'm in better hands now

v.2I am strong all because of you I stand in awe of every mountain that you move Oh I am changed, yesterday is gone I am safe from this moment on There's no fear when the night comes 'round I'm in better hands now

It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground So take this heart of mine there's no doubt I'm in better hands now It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground Its like the world is silent though I know it isnt true Its like the breath of Jesus is right here in this room So take this heart of mine there's no doubt I'm in better hands now I'm in better hands now

Thank you Father for using my girls to remind me I am in better hands now. When giving my life totally to you- I am in better hands now. You are the air I breath. In my desperation you reach out to me, in my time of need you are there. When I need to be changed- YOU do it in an instant. Lord help to remember to reach for help, freedom is there; Lord teach me to Love myself so that I can love others.

Thank you Father for being in that car today and using my girls to minister to me. In my madness of sunday morning rush hour- YOU were still there. HELP ME TO REMEMBER YOUR HANDS ARE A BETTER PLACE TO BE. HELP ME TO STAY THERE.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Family Moments?! Family FUN!!!!

Life can be so much fun!!! Family, Fun, Simple and TOGETHER!!!!
Tonight my husband, three adorable girls, and myself set out on an adventure. Not one that I would have thought wow what a time of our life, just a little outing. It turned out to be one of the most exciting "family moments" we have had in a long time.
When we left home all the girls knew was we are going on a hayride. I was not too excited but Brian's old buddy would be there so I thought what the heck?!?!?!?!?!
Immediately on arrival we were met by an old friend, the girls scattered and began to have fun.
The fire was going and the hayride would come soon.
As I watched as everyone kinda went their own ways I just kinda stood alone. But in a moment where I felt alone I realized something, my family was being a "normal" family tonight. We were together mingling with other families and hanging out.
Soon enough we all came back together, gathered on our blanket next to the fire, just the 5 of us. We ate our dogs and smiled and had a blast. The hayride came and the girls loved it. Brian and I sat by the fire talked to an old friend and laughed. At one point we just hugged as we stood by the fire. I was truly blessed to be with my little family tonight.

God thank you for "MY FAMILY". They are what is most important to me after you. Help me to remember to make those memories with them because when it is all said and done, noone else matters.
Good Night!

Do I really need that Lord??

Here is the AWESOME thing about God! Even when we SCREW things way up- HE is there to help us make it right, It takes time- but it might be the time to see if we really need all that we "thought" we needed!

The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. -- 1 John 2:17

So much of what we pursue is fleeting. Once we acquire it, we have to try to preserve it because we know it will soon be gone.God has promised me that just as He is eternal and will live forever, so also are those who pursue a relationship with Him and are committed to do His will. Lord help me to examine every thing in my life and see if it is "really" worth having. : "Even if it is worth having, is it going to last long enough to make a difference?"

Lord, please give me the courage to be honest about what I am pursuing with my life. I want it to count for Your cause.I want to make a difference for good. Some of that desire, I confess, is self-serving. However, dear Father, I truly do want to have a life that impacts others for good and that brings You honor.I don't want to waste my time chasing after things and relationships that won't last and don't matter. Please give me the spiritual wisdom to follow Your will and find Your life rather than chasing the shadow values of life. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

be back soon

Friday, October 26, 2007

~~~I Will Rise~~~

In a place in life where it isn't so black and white anymore one has to ask, God what is your plan?
The plan of God is VERY black and white! His book of guidance is our bible. He has it all in HIS PLAN. His plan is for each of HIS children to have a life of JOY, PEACE, & ABUNDANCE in Him.
***Romans 5:6 says, " you see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly."

Today as our day started Mikel Ann was very unruly. Crying and fussing as such. She woke up this way. As a mother I began asking questions. Did she get enough rest? Is she sick? Is she hungry? But the conclusion I came to is well even if all of that is true...... She has a mouth and she knows how to tell me all of those things, right?
Well once I was at work I quickly realized what if she just couldn't put her words together. What if she was not feeling well and couldnt pin point where it was she hurt. What if I, her mother who she trust abundantly, had taken a few more moments to wait patiently and talk softly and tenderly for her to explain that to me.
This brought me to my heavenly father. What if He was never patient with me and He didnt wait on me to come to Him. What if He said she is whiny today I am not going to give her love and compassion and hope and restoration. What if He said, Kerri when you get it together- I will be here.
NOPE- He said come to me ALL who weary and heavy laiden- He said He would give rest and restoration and He would fill all the emptiness inside.

Lord I believe that your heart toward your children is one like your heart toward the children of Israel. I believe you know us inside and out. I believe you have called us. You said, "You are my servants; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your GOD. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:9-10

One day because of you Lord, I will look for my enemies and will not find them. That which comes against me will be nothing at all. Isaiah 41:12

"Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light! Micah 7:8

be back soon

Thursday, October 25, 2007

~~You are BIGGER than my giant~~

God, today I am so overwhelmed with your love. In a life that seems full of total chaos you reached forth your hand and said, Peace. In the middle of a storm I had allowed the devil to create, YOU said Peace. And because I allowed you to be LORD of my Life you gave peace to a storm that the enemy had been brewing for sure.

Thank you Lord that you are way bigger than my giant. God I know that you are very interested in me and my life. God I wonder if sometimes I put you in a box and say no this one is not doable. Please Lord show me that EVERYTHING is doable with you!

In the last week I have had to find you in a place in my heart that I wasn't sure you were still there. Once I released myself to find you, you were there. I quickly realized you didn't go anywhere you just simply wouldn't go against my will. I had to get to the place where I found YOU and YOU alone. Thank you for opening your arms and loving me. My giant is big, but you are BIGGER!

Today I have to ask you to help me be who you created me to be. Lord help me to remember where your blood flows, there is no room for evil. Lord I ask for your blood to cover my family. Brian, Maddison, Hannah, Mikel Ann and myself. Father go before us each step and keep my mind steadfast on you. Keep my thought process from wondering and keep me focus on you and the goal you have for me!!!
Lord help me to thrieve on YOUR love, YOUR joy, and YOUR peace and contentment.

~~~When the music fades, and all is stripped away, and I simply come..... Longing just to bring something thats of worth. That will bless your name....
I'll bring you more than a song, for a song in it self is not what you have required, you search mush deeper within, to the way things appear your looking into my heart-
chours-I am coming back to the heart of worship- It's all about you, It's all about you Jesus, I am sorry Lord for the thing I made it YES it's all about you Jesus.....

***God help me to remember who I am in YOU and ALL that YOU require of me***

Be Back Soon

Wednesday, October 24, 2007



This morning as I sat reading the word and trusting that God was there, I had to wonder, why is it soo very hard to Trust someone who has NEVER hurt you? Why is it so hard to trust a God who has NEVER let you down? A God who you know has been there before, because without HIM you would not have made it this far.
God almighty who knows you inside and out, good and bad, past, present and future, and He even knows the amount of hairs on my head.
I find it so hard to trust that He will work life out for me.

A few days ago I wrote a statement and I am trusting that I can live to it by Gods grace.
" Lord I will trust you when there is noone else there. I will trust you when I can't feel you I will trust you when I can't see you. I will hold on to YOU AND YOUR WORD and I will wait to step until I trust you are there to hold my hand."

Lord help me to trust you with every part of my body and soul. Everything that pertains to me LORD you care and you have a plan. If I will submit my will to you each and every day, every hour if needed you will guide me in your ways.

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge.Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother concieved me. Surely you desire TRUTH in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. Cleanse me with hyssop and I will be clean; was me and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear JOY and GLADNESS; let the bones you have crushed rejoice . hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.
Create in me a clean heart, O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your HOLY SPIRIT from me. Restore to me the joy of my salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.
THEN I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you.
Save me from bloodguilt, O GOD. The God who saves me and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. ~~~Psalms 51:1-15~~~

Lord give me truth and only truth. Lord speak truth to my spirit and let me hear truth and no other voices.


Tuesday, October 23, 2007

~~~New Beginnings~~~

New Beginnings?
How do you start again when you have hurt so many? How do you start agian when you yourself have been so hurt? Not by someone else but by the mere enemy of your soul.
Today I begin this journey of healing and restoration just ME and GOD.
The Lord is my shepard I shall not want... What exactly does that mean? God you are my strength to do what is right and my guide in the steps to do so.
Life took a turn for me that I didn't intend for it to take. The enemy came in like a flood and distroyed me and those around me.
In a quiet moment I realized that the blood of Jesus had not covered me and I had allowed the enemy in and entertained him.
Lord Jesus for that I am so sorry. Lord Jesus please be my guide. I give you my heart soul and mind. Lord Jesus cover my mind soul and body with your spirit.
Today Lord help me to take every resource you have given to start this walk of life with you the center.
God help me get to the place where NOONE and NOTHING else matters to me but you!!!!!
Lord give me strength to do what is right. Make a mends where there is mends to be made. Help me to do it with GRACE and SINCERITY.
Lord show me that you are enough.
~~~be back soon~~~

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

God I know you are there!!!!!

Ever been so out of the loop that life seems to be going 100 miles an hour?
Okay, the other side of the fence, ever been so far in a pit that looking up hurts and life is going slow as a turtle?

Today as I come before the Lord I have to believe HE IS HERE! The last 24 hours have proven to put my faith to the test faster than anything... How is it that bad things happen to someone who is desperatly trying so hard to reach the top of a mountain. Someone who is begging to see light, someone who is begging God to bring her to the top so she can breath.

God I cannot understand your plan. Where is the line where you say ENOUGH that is my daughter? God can you really touch a storm and calm the waters. The water is drowning me Lord I need you to reach in and pull me out and set me on the bank to watch your healing waters flow.

God I will not put you to the test of if you don't do this then,...... However please God oh please- show yourself real to me today. If for only a minute I will take just a second and hold tight.
God I couldn't find you this morning, I was cold and lonely and there was no warmth from you holding me. God there was not even a shadow of you in my soul.

God forgive me if I am questioning you and if I am doubting you. I only need a glimpse of you.
Noone else matters no one else cares like you do- You are the air I long to breath in and breath out ..............

****I know your there, I know you see me. You are the air I breath and the ground beneath me. I can find you anywhere because I know your there......

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


God you are so AWESOME!!

Tonight I had one of the sweetest God Moments I could have asked for.
My girls are kinda going through alot, sometimes when it is church time,
I have one that is always saying how they don't want to go.

So tonight I, not feeling well drug us all to church. I knew it was where we needed to be.
Hannah Jane said she didn't want to go, my response was there is no option.

We made it, and the girls were all smiling when we arrived at church. Thier whole disposition was different tonight. They all loved on people and actually seemed HAPPY!!!!

After church is when my God moment came.
On the way home the girls talked about thier classes. The verses they had to learn and how excited they sounded.
When we got home they put pjs on and got right into bed only to bring out thier verses, and bibles. I loved it.


Hold on and Be blessed today!!

Monday, September 10, 2007

I had a thought!!!!!

I had a thought....I sat down in my chair from a call to a friend. I sat and wondered and even replayed, how on earth did I cut my finger? It is humerous to sit and replay it.... But what could I learn form it?
Ofcourse there was a phone growing to my ear as I chatted about life with a friend, the watermelon began to roll, and the sharadded knife wouldn't cut straight. With the phone in hand and trying to keep the watermelon from rolling to the floor, I put my hand on the watermelon and thought I can do this. Took the knife headed downwards with it and YIKES!!!! The watermelon rolled the wrong way and down the knife came, only to take a portion of my finger with it.
I quickly said. " I cut my finger I got to go." Hung up the phone in tears because it hurt. Blood gushing, kids screaming, my mother was calling Brian and I was "TRYING TO KEEP IT TOGETHER".
Maddison grabbed my phone and called our neighbor who is a nurse, "Mrs.Wendy I think my mom is going to bleed to death." Mikel Ann crying, "Mommy don't go mommy don't go". Hannah Jane calmly said, "Mommy remember I had stitches and I didn't even cry". My tears rolling and I honestly thought what a trooper...

Off to the er and in to see the dr. They gave me a shot and then more pain meds. I don't do well with meds so 10 minutes later I am out for the count.
Even today the after fact of the meds are still here.

Here is my thought; isn't it cool how God can do surgery on us and make us all better. I recalled a statement that a friend said, when we are having "surgery" from God how intensive it is, how fragile we become. How we lay in His tender hands, in HIS intensive care while He fixes what is broken.
I thought about a experience I recently had. I don't know exactly the extent of the procedure but God began a work. There was a birth of longing to be in His word, A desire birthed to walk in HIS light.
Even when the world around me seems to be crumbling at my feet- I will go on..
Thank you Father for my surgery!!!!

He who began a good work will finish it up! (my words ofcourse)

just my thought for today- if it seems to be a nutty one forget I even sent it!

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Thank you FATHER

Father, Thank you. Thank you for loving me so much. Lord I am so sorry where I failed you. God when I found out that I couldn't say I loved you just hours ago and it grieved my spirit. But Lord I know you set me free. Lord I love you so much, You alone are God. Thank you for the freedom from the past.
Lord I thank you for starting this healing in my life. I don't know where it goes from here. I will continue to dig in your word, and breath your air. Feed my soul oh Lord that I may grow and know you.

For at the end of the day, when life is over I want my legacy to be~~~
Wow she lived a life of grace through Jesus Christ.

Friday, September 7, 2007


How does freedom feel for you? Ever thought of not having your freedom?
For me it started when I was barely old enough to remember. How could a mother stand and watch? How could she not go in and take you in her arms and fix it? How does one so young hold so tight to a memory of pain and suffering? It happens, it happens when you don't even know WHY you can't let go.
Today I found freedom from this bondage. Those men no longer have a hold on me nor do I hold them tight in bondage.
In a room probably no bigger than you sit right now, crunched in a floor, I let it go. God, my heavenly father, took it away.
No more to be remebered and no more to torment me, no more to raise it's ugly head satan LOST.
Today this is one obstacle I HAVE OVERCOME!!!!

Thank you father for your grace, forgiveness and your freedom. You alone are worthy for you bring liberty and freedom.
Finish the work you have started..... TOTAL FREEDOM IN YOU!

How exciting to see!!!!

What a joy to see my mother with her grandchildren on grandparents day. Today as we waited in the lunch room my mother only smiled.
A day she had never shared with her grandchildren.
As each child came when it was her lunch time, each smiled when they saw GRANNY. HUGE HUGS to follow.
They are almost used to the fact that Granny is a part of their life. It scares me senseless for the day that she will part and we will be left to pick up the pieces.
I have never seen my mom and kids together on such a special day.
It gave me hope that God you are God. You do bring forth desires of those who love you.
Today God you sent hope- You said you would always be there Go and I am counting on it.

Good Morning God!

Good Morning God...

I choose to believe today is a good day. The girls got up smiling with no hesitation. Excited that today is "Grandparents Day" at school. They have never had my mother here so WOW what a treat.I am not sure who is more excited the little girls or the big girl. Ofcourse you know I have to go to snap some pictures of thier smiling faces. They are all so excited about thier day that lays ahead!!!!

Lord, what guideline do you have for a miracle? When do you decide to send a miracle? I have to wonder do YOU think I deserve one? What a testimony it could be for you. My heart has always been to minister to hurting women. But, how can I minister when I am so empty? When I have so much doubt. Lord I know you can, but what I don't know is which line do I walk to be in your will?

God you have provided me with arms, feet, and a voice to take in. I will walk lightly but I will fight. For I know this fight is a spiritual one. A spiritual fight that has taken over my physical body. I am ready to BREAK DOWN EVERY STRONGHOLD THAT KEEPS ME IN BONDAGE.
For I know it won't be easy, I won't like it, but the results will be AWESOME!

In my bible this morning I read about Peace and Joy- Romans 5
In my devotion I read about your people. We seek the benefits from you, God, but we don't seek a relationship with you. I want your benefits but more than anything I long for a deep lasting relationship with YOU GOD!
~~Peace, Joy, and HOPE shine most brightly in a life of suffering.

~~Joy today is a choice for me. Joy can be learned-and suffering is most often the teacher...Oh God help me get there.....

Whatever my circumstances, God you long to comfort me, heal me, and give me YOUR peace, joy, and hope. I am bringing my needs to you in prayer this hour. Help me lay them down, all hurts and all worries.... I ask you to help me accept my circumstance, and keep my eyes fixed on you!!!! Lord teach me to live my days in JOY AND PEACE from you, oh father. AMEN