Sunday, December 23, 2007

WOW! We are finally home!

As the holidays began to approach us, it lead up to the time we would go to Tennessee. I never could get "just totally excited" about going. However, we finally left on Friday. I must say much much later than we anticipated~ but as it was we got there.
Anyhow, the day started on Saturday by going into town with my grandmother. (my dads mom) My girls had gone to a children's party with some friends. I love to be with my grandma. We "used" to shop every chance we would get but since her accident she cant seem to get up and go like she used to. Considering I almost lost her I take each moment we have, and make it like it is our last.
Saturday had lots of my emotions and without details I still have alot of emotions to work through on it, FOR SURE!
I also on Saturday spent alot of time with my sister. I loved that. I miss her like crazy and my girls love Aunt Suzanne. She cut all the girls hair and we wrapped gifts together... AND by the way- my girls hair looks cute as a button!!!
Sunday brought on the day we would spend with the ROE side of the family! This is my dads mom, dad, brothers and all of their families. I do love them all. My uncle Randy is so funny. you can't believe nothing he says, because he is always messing. However he is a very Godly man and is always looking out for his family. My uncle Bill is well, I love him more and more each time I see him. He looked great today and his health seems to be doing well. My uncle Dennis- is a mess... He also likes to have fun and is a great guy. I love all my uncles in their own ways, each are very special and dear to me! We could blog for days about their wonderful wives! So we will leave it at that...
Then there is my Ma and Pa! I love them and if I write anymore I will cry.
We are finally home and ready to crash in my bed. I had a great day today and I hope you all have a great holiday!

~~Until then~~~

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

It is only three more days!!!!!

Today in a world that is so materialistic, I have to wonder why we as Christians really celebrate Christmas. The holidays for some are tough, I so understand it. We have made it about gifts, how much money you can spend and we have forgotten to teach the young what Christmas is about. It is about the baby boy who came to give life, by going to the cross HE bought us FREEDOM and love joy and peace.

Ok- so I say that to say this, each day we get closer to leaving for Tennessee the more the devil is attacking me. I recognize it, and yet I fall into the trap. I know I can choose not to get there but I am there before I realize it and hurt all over again. To me Christmas is about the baby boy, but also about family. Well that puts a spin on things because some of my family- well they are mine and that is all I will say. It is true you are hurt by those you "think" love you most.

I take pride (don't know if it is right or not) in the fact my girls are NOT materialistic brats! (smile) This year they have made it very difficult to shop for they say they don't know what they want. Well some say, it's because they have everything- not really. They are just not kids that "WANT". They want to be with their family, they want to be with their friends at church, they want someone to sit and read and play games with. THAT IS WHAT MY GIRLS WANT.
I am thankful as a mother that I can supply their needs by just being in their "space". I am equally glad that slowly but surely their father is seeing that.

What I want today is a harmony among me and my family and friends. God has given us so much. And even when I look upon the negative oh how the positive out weighs the neg. I can see that where I thought the enemy had destroyed me and my family, God has given me family back. It may not be my "blood" family, but it is my spiritual church family and friends outside of the local church.

Dear Lord give me strength today. As I go into the holiday season and I walk into a time that I really don't like, I pray you will give me grace. Give me new memories with my husband and children. Give us as a family, JOY that only comes form you. You are our rock and fortress. You are who we depend on.
As we begin our travels in a few short days, keep us safe. Keep our spirits guarded by you holy spirit. Thank you for everything you have given us, and everything you mean to us. Lord give Brian and I strength to protect our girls and keep them reminded of why we celebrate Christmas. ~~~AMEN~~~

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Christmas Story-

I am so grateful for my father in heaven. I guess with the holidays coming upon us I have to wonder why it is I have never thought about Christmas in the manner it was brought forth today. The preacher preached out of Hebrews and I have to say it was good.
Pastor Ron preached about how yes Jesus came as a baby but He didn't stay a baby. He went to the cross and He died- Then He rose again. Praise the Lord!!!!!!!

Lord I am so thankful you came as that baby, but Lord your dying and resurrection is more AWESOME than any babe!

Today is a new day. God you have set me free by going to the cross. I have been given freedom, love, joy and peace through you. ~~Thank you~~

Merry Christmas Jesus~~~~

Thursday, December 13, 2007

My Authority

Good Morning to ALL!!!
Wow what a rough couple of days. I guess I would have to admit it has been a spiritual battle going on and boy am I glad I finally realized my place in it all.

This morning I woke up in a new world. LITERALLY-
I slept peacefully and I have to say God granted me sweet peaceful sleep... It's been awhile. Lastnight after church I finally took the authority given to me by God and said, SATAN GET OUT OF HERE!!! My mind, my thoughts, my heart belongs to GOD. I am a blood bought child of the most high king. I have to remember just because I am Gods doesn't mean satan will not come up against me, what it does mean is satan has no authority over me or anything to do with me.. I will be equiped with Gods word and holy spirit and satan will flee...
For the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy.... But Jesus came to give us life and life more abundantly.

God in a day that seems full of attacks from the enemy, I will ask you to gaurd my heart, my mind, and my soul... I am your child and you have given me authority to stand against the enemy and all his evil powers.
GOD THANK YOU that you died for me and you cared enough about me to save my soul and bring me out of bondage. You said, come to me all that are heavy burden... I will give you rest.
You also said your sin is as far as the east is from the west buried in the sea of forgetfulness.
Father today- I love you and I am amazed that all you do for ME and all that you have given me. Let me not forget the benefits of calling you DADDY!!!!

Until Next Time~~~

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

DEVIL please leave me alone!!!

Tonight when I saw the pastor on my way home I made a statement that I didn't really think about until I got home and was cooking dinner! Here was the statement. "Today was a day form HELL", I am just here to tell you Pastor. After I got home and was cooking I thought about that. My mind plays tricks on me so I began to wonder wow what did he think of me when I said that. Then I got in defense mode- I thought well if he doesn't like me well forget it. I don't care.
Well, the fact of the matter is I do care or I wouldn't have even been in there where I could have seen him. Secondly, was today really a day from hell or was it that my attitude and thinking is all screwed up? I am not sure how to answer that.
What I do know is a few things- 1st of all- ALL CONFUSION comes from the devil. So where I have made efforts in making my life right with God and others satan is having a hayday, let me tell you.
I am trying to move on but today I am here to tell you I was under his foot. It has left me very depressed and wondering is it worth all of this? I am confused, and bitter. I am upset because I feel betrayed in my mind but my heart says keep going. Somewhere inside of me it says this time is it, keep going- another part of me says forget it, it hurts too much...

Tonight I am trying to pray. It is hard, I am alone, I am scared and I am down.
God please come in and sweep over my soul. Take these feelings away. Help me to know you are there, and help me to except the help you are trying to give me.
God I love you and without you I am nothing, Tonight at this moment I feel like nothing!

Until next time-


Today is Tuesday! I recieved an email that said you haven't blogged where are you? Well the simple truth is it has been a busy couple of days..

Last time I blogged I told you about going to have fun on saturday! It was a blast! The ladies of the church are way too fun.. My mother in law indeed did go and wow, she smiled and laughed- It was too much fun!!!

Sunday was busy as ever- I did however get a nap- THREE HOURS to be exact. Hannah Jane came and woke me up at 5 and said, "mommy it's time to go to church". I was like oh my it is something to be said about your kids waking you up to tell you time to go to church.....

Monday came and went like a long day... Brian and I got little sleep sunday night so it was very tough on monday. Hannah was not feeling well so Brian had to stay home and take her to the doctor.....

Monday however had some GREAT points in it. I had a meeting on monday that had good results.
Brian and I by a blessing from my mother in law had no kiddos for dinner. So we took the chance and we went out to eat with the pastor and his wife. I do believe God is going to do great things. It is very hard to see the end, however I am going to trust that God is faithful... Right now I cant see it all but I am trying to hold on to what I do know.

God today as I write I want, I need you to saturate me with your love. Allow me to see you when I am clouded. I am thankful for my family, my husband and my kids. We arent all we need to be yet but You can transform us. Help me to be open to the fact you are ALL knowing and ALL powerful. Also help me to remember you created me in your image. To be like you is my goal....
Thank you Father

~~Until next time~~

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Happy Saturday!

Good Morning! Oh my word I cant believe I slept until 8:15a.m. Isn't that a treat when you are used to getting up at 4:30- 5:00 a.m.. Ofcourse when I woke up I laid in my bed and listened. Hannah and Mikel Ann were up and at it this am... you know no school and well the kids are up at dawn.... I could hear the way they were playing together and it was music to my ears. I rolled over and put my arms around Maddison, who was in my bed, and just laid there. I love to snuggle with my girl...
Today is filled with lots to do.. The normal chores ofcourse, but there is extra. It is now 12:37 and I have already done a days work. I went to the mabelline store with a friend to get my couple months of hair stuff, got my nails done, went by the gift shop, and then back home and my FIRST- Italian Creme Cake is in the process. Oh MY we will see.
I am so grateful for my wonderful husband who says, yes go do your thing I got the girls! You see he has a special outting for them as well today but they have no idea.
Today as I go and have a little fun, I am so excited..... I am even excited that my mother in law has chosen to go with us. Everyone needs a little fun here and there. And if there is one thing about these crazy nuts I am going to be with- THEY KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN!!!!!!

God give me a great time and let me not forget you. Let the devotions that are read be something right for me from you. God I love you today. Be with us all as we go about our busy days- Help us to keep focused on you, for you truly are the reason for the season!!!

until then....

Friday, December 7, 2007


Well it is FRIDAY again, which means another week has passed. So did you survive the first week of DECEMBER!!!!?????

I have to say it has been a good week. In the beginning satan attacked but GOD showed up and showed himself faithful.
As I go into another weekend I have to say, GOD you did "Do It Again"........
you brought me through when I wasn't certain I would get through. I love the way you love me Jesus!!!

So on another note.... I have this sweet dear child of mine!!! Lord I have to wonder if I will survive her. She is 9 going on 20 sometimes and then others she is 9 going on 2..... One moment she is big and wants to help with the youth pastor at church, and one minute she is a baby and needs my undivided attention...

I have to wonder if I am doing right by her. She is so smart and she is so sweet and then she is soooo well not so sweet.....:-(

Anyway off to weekend chores and outings... you know laundry dishes and more laundry at my house. then you have all day affair at church on sundays and you also have the extra stuff... You know the ladies progressive dinner... Will I go I dont know- I am learning to just hang with the girls and enjoy being at home...

Untill next time

Thursday, December 6, 2007

OKAY- Peggy said I BELIEVE IT--- God is FAITHFUL!!

Today started as the last, only for another day for God to show HIMSELF faithful.
So Do I sing or do I dance, I really am not sure.. For the song in my heart is not one you would just dance to.

I guess in all that I "could" type here is what I will say. Lord thank you for the times you are so faithful. Thank you for the time that you show yourself real. Thank you for when I trust you and I go and do as I should you show me favor.

I continue to stand in amazement of how much you love me God. Your grace and abundant love are far more greater than I could have ever dreamed.

Father in the days ahead continue to show your self to me and through me. As I strieve to stay in your will may my life show you in a way that noone can doubt your work in me..

Untill then

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Did you say- gym- 5 am

Today I started back to gym- Lovely at 5 am....
Anyhow by 8:30 I was charged just as they said I would be. It was cold getting out but some friends and I said yeah we will be there at 5 am...
I walked on the treadmill no big deal I do that at home, HOWEVER the machines are a different story! I started out at one weight but by the last machine we had to bump it on down... I am a wimp I guess. Here is what I am thinking.... Skinny by the summer and lots of energy will come if I will stick to it..
I enjoyed hanging out with my friends this morning too. It was a great way to start out the day. I enjoy the energy I seem to have and well maybe just maybe it will do some good for me!!!!

Untill next time have a good day!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Terrific Tuesday!!!!

Okay so I have a friend that says speak it into existing and you shall have it. So today is a terrific tuesday... there you go!!!
Actually today has been great.. All the kids are down for a nap and it is almost time to go see my little bright beautiful rays of sunshine. So okay I joined the gym back sometime ago... I havent been that faithful at going and being a part, right...??? Well my firend now is back working in the mornings and well, I guess what I am trying to say is I am going back tot he gym... Yeah yeah I walk at home but it isnt the same, i am convienced...

So in the morning starting bright and early I can be found at the gym... Hallelujah !!!! you know I am convienced that by getting up early God honors our at least trying. I also am determined to still get in my daily talk with Jesus and my reading his word. I have learned tha tGod is kinda stingy... he doesnt want a part of me but ALL of me...Even when I am sad and even when I down He loves me and is always there for me...
So anyhow--- That is that...

Untill next time!

Monday, December 3, 2007

Hold Me

Today has been a very long day. Actually yesterday never ended so it has been like two days in one. Ever had one of those.. Anyhow I am wondering today and boy how my mind can wonder so far out of control.
Today I backed away from those who love me in fear that I might hurt them. I have to wonder where is God today. I need some answers and I am not getting them. I know without a doubt God is faithful... I know He is an on time God. SO I guess today I am going to have to begin asking God to give me grace and mercy. When I am uncertain- wait... When I dont know where to turn, be still and when I dont know what to say be quiet.
Lord thank you for my friends and thank you for my family..... Lord when I dont see you please hold me. Hold me still and hold me untill the storm passes. father teach me to hold on to you, for you are all I need!!!!!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Good Night!!!!

Okay so it is sunday night after 10 pm.... I have to wonder where did the weekend go? I am thinking the weekend goes so much faster than the week, maybe it is cause there are only 2 days with no work , and 5 days with work....

Anyhow- as the weekend closes I say Thank you Father for your unconditional love. You are the air I breath and the song that I sing... I love you so much. Today I am faced with a decesion that effects so many I love. God you know how to show up and let me know each step I should take. I have a question of when and how you will give your answer but I will wait on you, I will wait for you to say here child walk this way.

Lord be with me and my family as we go into another week. Lead and guide us each step. Father touch my children. Help them to understand each situation as we come upon them. They are so sweet and innocent and Lord I want to protect them and Lord I NEED YOUR HELP to do so. I give the girls to you, touch thier mind, hearts, and spirits... Father I love you, thank you for loving me.................

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Accomplished in deed!!!!

Saturday came and it started early. I got up for the last time at 6:30am... I started in for I knew my house was in need of my attention. I was a week late on Christmas decorations and the girls were letting me know it again today starting at 7:30 am...
To say it quickly I accomplished it all, from cleaning out the frig, decorating the house and AND I am almost completely finished with the laundry... The girls have clean sheets and thier rooms are nice and neat. The bathrooms cleaned and the floors vaccumed and swept and mopped where needed.
Now we are enjoying the game and getting ready to shower and do supper. for tomorrow holds a whole nother day full with things to do.

As I go to bed tonight I can feel totally accomplished and ready for another week..
YEAH RAH YEAH FOR ME!!!!! Although I am totally exhausted! Sleeping should be no problem at all tonight!!! :-)