Monday, May 2, 2011
Father O How I love you! I am ready I promise
Lord, today I come as I always do, completely unworthy, just a beggar of grace. Today You've come as you often do, and completely amazed me. Your graciousness to me is overwhelming. You've healed, sustained, delivered…my circumstances tested You and once again You've proven Yourself faithful. Giver of joy, Father of hope, Creator of Life…You have not forgotten me. You owe me nothing, yet I owe you everything. How many times Lord, have I approached Your throne about this very subject, knowing that you hear me, but not really ready to receive your response, in case it's not what I want to hear. I should have trusted Your heart for me, and remembered that Your promises are Yes and Amen. So many times I've stood in this very place with no words for You, only groans and sobs, and I trust that you not only heard, but felt each one with me. Today I stand in this refuge, but today I have words, oodles of them actually, and a song…because You have restored hope to me. How do I thank you enough, how do I show you the gratitude of my heart, yes Lord, even my very soul? Yet here in the midst of great joy, and great gratitude, great fear attempts to overtake me. I'm refusing it Lord, but it's a daily, sometimes hourly struggle. Truth calms me, but then memories assault me and remind me that the very worst can and does happen. But truth says that You carried me, and that You will carry me again. Speak Your perfect peace over me. I am yours, Your miracle, Your project from beginning to end. I didn't initiate it, I didn't manipulate it, Lord I wasn't even asking you for your grace when You decided to give it. You knew I would be afraid just as You know the rivers of fear You are now asking me to cross. Just help us to make it safely Father, all of us. Oh God, show us Your favor. We are praying and believing. So are others. Not just for our faith, but for theirs Lord, show Yourself in power and glory. They need to see it, a fresh work, a new move, and I know that You who delights in the impossible, to You, this is but a small thing. Please Lord, for those who need it so desperately, Do this! Father finish what You started in me, and do what You do best, bringing this to perfect completion. I don't know how successful we've been, but we have tried desperately to give you honor and glory in the midst one of my darkest valleys. Now Lord, give us this blessing and watch how we will dance on the mountain top!